Tuesday, April 21, 2009

health update for the week

w/ doctor
- potassium still very low (got a prescription for a specific potassium supplement).

- got lectured about the fact that I am still losing weight (although it's not my fault this time, it's my metabolism! Because I AM eating) and was not only threatened but promised hospitalization if I continue to lose weight... she doesn't believe that I am eating everything that I say I am "because my weight would show otherwise." She even had the nerve to ask me if I would eat a sandwich there in her office if she gave me one. Of course, I said "Yes!"

- got an appointment with the physical therapist to help me with my muscles and joints, because they hurt!
w/ dietician
- obviously concerned that I am still losing weight, but a little more understanding because she believes that I am eating and she understands that my metabolism is working against me right now (meaning it's speeding up). But still had to increase my food intake again because I have to start gaining weight!

- still working on trying to add more variety into my meal plan, and allow myself choices instead of being so rigid!

w/ therapist
- blah, dee blah, blah. Also concerned about my weight...big surprise. :(

- still working on trying to get angry at my eating disorder! But it's hard to get angry when you are just so tired. Tired of anorexia, tired of fighting, just tired... And it's difficult because I still have such a hard time separating the me from my ed... I still mostly think ed's thoughts are "jenn's" thoughts.... I mean, I have thought this way soooo long that it's going to take a good amount of time and hard work to undo my thought process. But I am working on it! Every single day! :)

-working on not letting myself get overwelmed so dang easily and not letting one mistake or setback snowball into many mistakes or setbacks!! Because I seem to be really good at this! And working on being patient with myself and not getting discouraged when I do make mistakes.

3 comments:

  1. Keep working is the key to life! I love you Jenn!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ugh, I hated the whole boosting metabolism and the fact doctors ignore this fact (or at least seem to at the time you are going through it.) And I always hated eating in front of them, it's hard enough to eat, and worse if you are the ONLY one eating.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You keep amazing me! Good job. Keep working hard and You WILL get there. I love ya.

    ReplyDelete