Tuesday, April 7, 2009
"feeling" my feelings
therapist: you need to be able to "feel" your feelings. I mean really feel them, be able to sit with them and be okay with it.
therapist: you need to!
me: NO!... I'm scared... I can't!
therapist: jenn, you can and you have to!
This was the calm part of our session. It got very intense after this point. The fear and anxiety of "feeling my feelings" is a HUGE part of what is keeping me sick, and continually avoiding it instead of facing it is a big reason why I have remained "sick" for so long. I think in our session yesterday - we kind of, sort of made a break-through. Which is SO great because I feel like I have been stalling the past little while (even moving backwards a bit with everything). So I agreed to start working on this. He warned me that it's going to REALLY REALLY suck...probably for quite a while...but, if I can hang on and surround myself with people I can talk to and people who will support me - things will be so much better once I have faced this horrifying obstacle. I sure hope so...