Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Ballerina

I have decided that I really want to do ballet again. I haven't taken any classes since college, and I miss it so much! So, I have made a list of reasons & benefits for taking ballet again and hopefully when I show it to my treatment team - they will give me the go ahead. Fingers crossed!

* It makes me happy!
* It will help strengthen, tone, & heal my body!
* It helps relieve stress & tension from the body!
* It helps promote creative expression!
* It develops poise & body awareness!
* It helps give you better posture!
* My e.d. shouldn't be allowed to take away everything I love...


  1. Sweetie.... I don't know you well yet, but from everything you've said thus far, I don't think your treatment team will let you do it YET... maybe they'd let you do some stretching??? I only say this cause I guess I"m wondering if you should change it to a goal rather than right now???

    Oooh that is hard to say, I know how much I love to dance, but when you're as sick as you are, its not good for your body to be expending extra energy that it really doesn't have.

    *hugs gently*

    I look forward to reading on when you DO start however :) and hearing how much you love it!!!

  2. Thanks for the honesty. I know it's coming from an honest and true place.

    I think I am just trying to grasp onto things I loved from the "old jenn" because I feel lost at the moment, if that makes any sense.

    I know that my treatment team isn't going to let me start classes up again (wishful hoping, I guess) but...I don't know, things are just so hard right now...

    I have been doing some exercises at home this past week, with an old tape I have from when I was in ballet, and I HAVE noticed myself getting SUPER frusterated because my body is SOOO WEAK and TIRED and BROKEN and not ANYWHERE near in the kind of shape it used to be in - and it DOES worry me that I am going to push myself to be in the same shape I was was, maybe it isn't such a good idea right now....

    I just feel lost, and I want to find "Jenn"... I want her back.

  3. I say make it a goal for when you are in better physical shape. Maybe a few months? It will help motivate you in recovery and give you something to look forward to. In the meantime, you can stretch to prepare.

  4. I didn't even realise that comments were written. I don't know what made me look back!

    I totally TOTALLY understand that lost feeling hun, I feel exactly the same. I think that dancing is a good goal to aim for, but its just hard to not be able to do it right now. I find it so frustrating that living and breathing and therapy and fighting just takes up so much time and energy!

    I understand wanting the old you back, I want the old me back. Neither of us can ever go back. We're not the same as we were, we'll never be those people again. We've experienced different things now. But we CAN move forward. We can discover who we WANT to be. We know what we're capable of, we can look backwards for those things, now we just gotta figure out who we think we might want to be and try that on for size.

    You can do it Jenn, you really really can!!!