Monday, August 3, 2009

I live for the moments when I feel the HOPE!

Lately, CRAPPY is how I have been feeling - because my e.d. is so freaking loud in my head. And this latest round of treatment has been the most difficult because I have been the most honest and have been working the hardest. And it really takes a lot out of me...
I feel like most days I don't have the energy for anything else.

BUT...

The days when I feel happy, excited, & hopeful - those days are when I am able to see recovery and I am able to see my life and what it could be without my longtime companion, anorexia. These are the days (though they may not come around as often as I would like) that I feel like all of this blood, sweat, & tears is truly worth it and that I can have a happy and fullfilling life ahead of me, and I don't need to take my e.d. along on the journey anymore!!!
  
And my hope and my prayer every single day is that the closer I get to recovery - the more of "these days" I will have! I feel so grateful that that glimmer of hope is starting to claw its way through all of these dark clouds that have hung over me. It gives me the motivation I need to be able to continue fighting this demon. 

4 comments:

  1. Awe Jennabee,
    You truly are amazing! I love ya.

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  2. Whoo hoo!! Hope is such a powerful thing and you know what? It clings on for all its worth and may be hidden at times, but it's always there no matter how much we try to kill it. I'm really glad your hope is starting to be seen a little more.

    Keep fighting, step by step :)

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  3. You go girl! Keep fighting with all you've got and don't stop until you get there! :)

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  4. YOU are a total cutie, but why don't you give a full grin, girl??

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