Friday, February 5, 2010

is a boring job all i can handle right now?

After talking about it and processing through all the fears I have about working full-time again (as mentioned in previous post), I have come to realize that I don't need to find a stressful, fast-paced, a ton of responsibility on my shoulders job. Even though that is the kind of job I love. I realize that a lot of my fears about my physical and mental health at the moment is directly related to my previous job. But I don't have to find a job like that. I can s l o w things down and work at a job that is a lot more chill. I could find a job where my responsibilities are pretty minimal, where I sit my bum in a chair most of the day (instead of running around so busy like my previous job). I have to say that even though I love being busy all day and having a lot of responsibility at work - that is not something I can do very well right now. I need to accept this fact and be okay with it. Why get a job that I know is going to trigger ED behaviors - that's like walking right straight into a major relapse if I were to do that right now. I do struggle with jobs that don't keep my attention and I think that is why I gravitate towards those fast-paced busy jobs. I get bored easily when it comes to work and the days seem to drag on, but when I am running around and busy all the time - the work day flies by and I love that!! I don't know what to do... because even as I am writing this, I am feeling bummed out that I am going to have to find a boring job that is going to drive me crazy...

3 comments:

  1. I understand how tricky it can be deciding these kinds of things
    kelly cutrones new book is so amazing
    "if you have to cry then go outside"
    i loved it so much! there is a link to an interview about it on my blog, she is so rad!
    she talks a lot about fashion, but her life in the industry and ... she is amazing!

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  2. I feel your pain. I went from owning my own architectural design business to working at PetSmart. It's not ideal, but it kinda (sometimes) works for me at the moment. It's hard to get used to doing things that I don't find as important, or working under people that I feel like I'm more educated or qualified than, but there's something to be said about not having so much stress, and definitely something to say about not being able to take any work home with me (which I would use to distract myself with). And despite it being a job that I'm not particularly proud of, and that I complain about probably a little to frequently, it is usually fairly enjoyable, and the time usually goes by pretty fast. And the biggest factor - I still struggle, but I haven't slipped back into my ED as much as I would have if I'd gone right back to something really stressful.

    Is there something you can find in the middle? Maybe not something you want to do forever, but something that at least sounds appealing? Finding a boring job thats going to drive you crazy may not be a wonderful solution either, as it would be easy to use the ed as a way to escape (I've done this too...If I get sick enough I can't work anymore and then I can get out of this situation). Remember that it's not all black and white...there is a grey area in there somewhere.

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  3. I understand. I had to leave a job I did love for a long while but then my boss started to bully me. Now I have had to leave the whole organisation and I have find something else! I worry I won't find anything I still want to do! I was so stressed out there though, glad I left!

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