I feel strong when I am able to reach out and let people support me. I struggle a lot with this, and I tend to try to do things on my own or run away from what I know is right because the ED voices are too loud and intense!! But, somehow, I was able to call my mom and ask her if she could meet me and have lunch with me today. (which is amazing in itself because, as people around me have learned... I am the one who avoids social situations if there is food involved - and it's usually other people inviting me or trying to get me to go out and "have lunch" or eat somewhere). I have been struggling with eating (...story of my life, I know...) and I knew I needed some extra support.
I needed to put some food in my body and I knew I couldn't do it on my own, so I found that strength (that doesn't like to show itself to me...ever!) to reach out and ask for help. It was nice. She did push me to eat more than I wanted or was comfortable with- but I needed that right now. And even though it was just one meal... it was one meal closer to recovery and one meal that is now nourishing my broken body and giving it the food it desperately needs. And I am grateful and proud to say that I was able to fight those ED thoughts and reach out and let someone help me. I just wish I was able to do this more often. But I did it today, and that's all that matters right now, in this moment.