Friday, March 26, 2010

a moment of strength

I feel strong when I am able to reach out and let people support me. I struggle a lot with this, and I tend to try to do things on my own or run away from what I know is right because the ED voices are too loud and intense!! But, somehow, I was able to call my mom and ask her if she could meet me and have lunch with me today. (which is amazing in itself because, as people around me have learned... I am the one who avoids social situations if there is food involved - and it's usually other people inviting me or trying to get me to go out and "have lunch" or eat somewhere). I have been struggling with eating (...story of my life, I know...) and I knew I needed some extra support.

I needed to put some food in my body and I knew I couldn't do it on my own, so I found that strength (that doesn't like to show itself to me...ever!) to reach out and ask for help. It was nice. She did push me to eat more than I wanted or was comfortable with- but I needed that right now. And even though it was just one meal... it was one meal closer to recovery and one meal that is now nourishing my broken body and giving it the food it desperately needs. And I am grateful and proud to say that I was able to fight those ED thoughts and reach out and let someone help me. I just wish I was able to do this more often. But I did it today, and that's all that matters right now, in this moment.

6 comments:

  1. Good for you for doing this! I'm so proud of you for being able to fight the ED and for being able to reach out. Asking for help is one of the hardest things for me too so I'm so I know how hard it is. Good for you!

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  2. Well done - this is so great to hear, and obviously took real strength. Good for you, and hopefully you'll feel ok about doing this again if you need to...

    Sarah x

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  3. It is so hard for me to ask others for help, even though I know they are more than willing to give it. I admire you were able to do that.

    Angela

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  4. well done, so proud of you! this is a big accomplishment. Good for you! Keep fighting the fight and one day, I hope it will come without having to try so hard to do it!
    *hugs*
    Sarah

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  5. Jenn, that is awesome!!
    I sometimes think its the hardest thing ever, to not only admit to ourselves, hey I don't think I can do this on my own...but then to admit that to someone else and ask them to be in it with us... well, it takes a huge amount of courage and self-honesty to do that, also self-preservation and I am VERY PROUD of you for standing up for YOU and YOUR HEALTH against ED!!
    YAY for you, seriously, good on you!!

    love and thoughts,
    Jennifer xx

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  6. Go Jenn!!! Sending you encouragement. Look forward to seeing you next week :)

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