Monday, April 12, 2010

feeling stuck

Lately, I have been feeling stuck, not knowing which way to go. It's been difficult to get my feet back on the ground especially after this past year. I am still trying to sort out being laid-off from my job last year and the difficult decision to temporarily(??) let go of my plans of finishing up school at SLFI and pursuing a career in the fashion industry. Also, recovery is not going well at the moment, and I feel myself isolating more and more and my social life and dating has become pretty non-existent lately. I know I need to get back on track but I am not sure which path to take. I am just struggling a lot with motivation right now. I feel lost. I feel confused. I don't know what my purpose in life is, anymore. But I just need to keep on going! Keep applying for jobs. Keep going out with friends and being social. Keep going to church. Keep volunteering. Keep going to appointments and therapy groups. Keep thinking about what kind of classes I want to take in school. Keep eating. Keep striving for recovery and a life worth living!!!

I came across this last night in the book I am reading, and it's something I wrote out on a paper and taped to my mirror: "Don't beat yourself up for not knowing all the answers. You don't always have to know who you are. You don't have to have the big picture, or know where you're heading. Sometimes it's enough just to know what you're going to do next."

a quote from the book - The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella

11 comments:

  1. Oh girl LOVE the quote! Best of luck to you in all your endeavors. I'm totally rooting for you!!!

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  2. You can't expect to do everything at once. Focus on recovery, and give yourself time and space. Health is number one priority, because without that you can't do anything else. Things will come together again, just keep engaging with life and fighting through.

    Don't lose hope :-)

    Sarah x

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  3. That is a great quote.
    What religion are you?

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  4. That quote is so perfect! And I think you're right- you just need to keep trying and keep doing the things that you're doing. Your true test is being able to make it through these rough patches and overcome them. As far as paths- maybe bring something new into the picture to focus all your energy into- a new hobby or a new person. Sometimes just shaking things up a bit by introducing something new and different can help you get back on track and find your motivation!! Good luck. You can do this. :)

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  5. I hate that stuck feeling, but the thing is you're right--you just have to keep going and keep trying even when it feels like you are getting nowhere and there's no point. You will get through this even though it seems horrible now and just take it one step at a time. That quote is absolutely right. Just knowing what you are going to do next is enough--you don't have to know what you will do tomorrow or three hours from now or for the rest of your life. Just know what you will do in the next few minutes. And then the next.

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  6. One moment at a time is the way i take it, when things are tough, or when i am feeling stuck...
    I am very proud of you for being so determined to keep on doing the things that do not allow you to become isolated - ED loves to isolate us and then continue the whispering in our heads that HE is all we need, until we realise we are once again segregated and on our own and cut off, deeper into the ED thoughts and behaviours.
    WELL DONE for being so determined to not let this happen, and realising the beginning of it ...
    Love you heaps,
    Jennifer xx

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  7. Well done on your determination to keep going. Persistance will pay off, and you will find recovery from this. One thing at a time though, stressing yourself out too much isn't going to be helpful either. Health and reovery first, and everything else will come too.
    I like the quoute :)
    Take care,
    -Cassie

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  8. i've been so stuck too. I just wrote a post about stuck-ness too, lol. we will get unstuck somehow. the only constant is CHANGE, right? so by default that means we cnnot be stuck forever. i hope.

    xoxo Tia

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  9. One day at a time Jennabee. You are amazing! You can do this!

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  10. Sometimes when we don't know what we're doing or where we're going the only thing we can do is to keep trudging on...keep trying...even if we think we're not getting anywhere. And eventually...eventually it will start to come together and make sense.

    I'm thinking of you. I have to work tonight so I won't be at group, but I hope to see you again soon. I miss seeing you and talking with you.

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  11. that quote is awesome. i think you will find your way and things will comes together for you. i tell myself ALLLLL the time, when shit hits the fan, everything happens for a reason. whether you know it or see it now isnt the point. you just keep going and undertsnad that life will pan out for yoU! keep your hopes up!!!

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