And even though life (and especially the ed) tends to knock me down...a lot!, and even though sometimes (lots of times actually) it takes me longer than it should to get back up - Somehow, I always find the strength to get back up and to keep fighting - And that's what matters! And hopefully, as I get further into recovery, the length of time that I stay on the ground will become shorter and the falls (slips & relapses) won't happen as often. That is my deepest hope, at least.
I haven't figured out how to stay in recovery...yet, and even though I am struggling daily to find that strong and lasting grip on recovery - I have to believe that I will someday. Because the only other option is to fall completely back into the ed, and we all know, some of us know this a little too well, the eating disorder's only end goal is death. And that can't be an option for me. I won't let it be an option for me! And this quote below is one that I try to lean on (and repeat very often to myself) when I am feeling overwhelmed in recovery and in life and I feel like, once again, I am coming up short.
And I hope it can be a source of comfort to all of you who are struggling as well. I believe in all of you (more than I believe in myself a lot of the time...) and I know that all of us can find a way out of this madness - it just might take longer than we had hoped it would. But once we finally get there - and for those of you who are there, or are close to being there - I know it will be amazing!!
with lots of love and lots of hugs,