I am happy to report that I have only had diet coke a couple times (in moments of vulnerable, tempting, weakness) since that fateful...(er, I mean mindful...?) day in September that I vowed to try this yet again. I am proud of myself because it has not been easy. At all. I love my diet soda, and it's been really hard to give it up. Which is why it has taken me many many... many tries. But I am determined. I am too addicted to it. And even in recovery, I have found that I did sometimes, still find myself using it to replace eating. Not purposely, I don't think. Just habit still, I suppose. But that is not good. I am aware of this now. And I will admit it.
Also, I am trying to listen to my body ( and my doctors) and do it for my health. My treatment team has told me over and over again, that it is not healthy for me. My body has gone through so much damage because of the eating disorder, and it is still trying to heal and recover. And the choices I make regarding food and exercise DO affect that healing.
I am starting to get used to not drinking it. (wow, did I really say that!?) And it IS getting easier day by day, the longer I go without it. But I do still find myself wanting to reach for it when I see it at the store, or I am at a restaurant. I know I still need to be careful, because as the past has shown me - once I start drinking it again, I fall quickly back into the cycle. I know this was the right decision for me. So I will keep on truckin' down the path and try not to look back... too much.