I love the holiday season! I love everything about it! I love getting together with my friends and family. I love curling up in warm blankets and drinking hot chocolate on a snowy night. I love the Christmas movies that are on tv. I love shopping!! I love wrapping presents and giving them to people. I love Christmas music. I love parties and the yummy food (hmm... never thought I'd be able to say that! lol). I love the cheery & happy feeling in the air around this time of the year. I love going to church and feeling the peace I get when I am there. I love walking around downtown. I love looking at all the Christmas lights. It also doesn't hurt that my birthday is this month too. I could go on and on about why I love the holidays. But most of all, the thing I love the most about the holidays this year is that my eating disorder won't be there to disrupt, interfere, or ruin things (for me and for my family & friends) - like it has since I was 13 years old.
Tonight I'm going to a church Christmas dinner & program with my boyfriend and his family. Then we are going back to his parents house to exchange small gifts & hang out, maybe watch a movie, play games, or just relax. It's the first of many celebrations to come this month. I am excited = ) This time of the year used to bring me so many emotions, and I have so many painful memories from all the years when I was struggling. I know I can't change the past. I can't forget the horrible things that I went through and felt because of my eating disorder... but what I can do it make new memories that are filled with happiness, love, and health that I can replace the old memories with. I know I can't forget, but I can forgive (myself and others), and I can let go and reach for love instead.