Wednesday, December 7, 2011

patience isn't easy for this girl

I just want to thank everyone for all the comments regarding my previous post. They all really helped me to be able to see the situation from a different point of view than my own. Especially since I haven't had a treatment team since March of this year - it's nice to have people in my life who "know" and truly understand what I am going through. I feel blessed to have all of you in my life =) It's hard sometimes to trust myself and my thoughts in recovery still sometimes, and things can get confusing at times.

I think I have been feeling a bit vulnerable (and stressed) lately, and maybe that is the reason for feeling the urge to exercise more. And even though I think I could handle it... why put myself in a situation that I could be (and am) vulnerable to? I don't need to increase my exercise. What I am doing right now is fine. And I am realizing this. I think for now, I just need to continue making smart choices and hold off on more exercise because it is something I know I am still susceptible to. And that is okay. I'm just not ready. I need to protect my recovery and be patient. It's hard for me to be patient. I want to be completely recovered. Now. But recovery is a process, and even though I am in the best place in recovery and in my life than I have ever been... I still need to be careful.

6 comments:

  1. I'm an instant gratification kinda girl, too. It's difficult to remember that this is not a quick fix!! Sometimes I feel like, just because I'm ready RIGHT NOW, that things will just automatically change immediately. But just like any other addiction, we definitely need to remain mindful of our limitations, challenges, and vulnerabilities. Kudos to you for thinking your motives through and acting out of a place of recovery rather than compulsion. I'm proud of ya, ma'am. :)

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  2. I am so impatient. I want to be ok, and I want to be ok NOW.

    x

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  3. Going through the process to be fully recovered does seem like forever, and it is so much work :/ hang in there. Even when you are recovered you still need to be careful though. The way someone once described recovery to me makes perfect sense (imo) ... being recovered from an eating disorder is being a recovered alcoholic, they can't have just one drink because that leads to another, which leads to a downward spiral. Having one bad day, or restricting one time makes it easier to let the eating disorder take over another time, then another time, until it becomes a relapse. You can't give in to it "just once" xx

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  4. With this amount of faith and motivation, you will, fully recover.
    I cannot say when, but you are allowing yourself to let go, and that is the hardest thing.
    I know you will get there <3

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  5. Hang in there gal. I luv ya! :) You can do this!

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  6. I know exactly how you feel. It is such a long road to walk, and the stumbling blocks along the way are frustrating! You will get there! I also wanted to thank you for your comment on my blog, and for the encouragement:)

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