Wednesday, April 25, 2012

All That Is Bitter & Sweet

I'm reading a book right now that is holding my heart captive.  Ashley Judd is such an inspiration to me.  She is an amazing, strong, and loving women and there are so many things in her book that I have been able to relate to (and also things that I have been able to apply to my own recovery and life) and there are so many parts of this book that I could quote.  But this part really stood out to me and it's something that I have experienced in my own recovery and life.  I think we all have.  Recovery isn't a magical fix, but a tool for us to regain our lives and use healthier ways to cope and express ourselves and our feelings.  

She is also an inspiration to me for all of the humanitarian work she does, and you can tell that she is doing it for the right reasons.  One of my goals & hopes in my life is to do humanitarian work and get involved in something like UNICEF... that has been one of my biggest dreams for a while now.

"It would have been wonderful if six weeks in treatment could have magically erased all of my difficulties, but it doesn't work that way.  Recovery is a process, lived one day at a time as a reprieve, not a "cure".  It does not promise me perpetual, emotional equanimity (what sort of life would that be, anyhow?)  It does guarantee me a design for living that works under all conditions, a process I can count on always, and healthy ways for me to feel all my feelings safely.  The lived effects of abuse and trauma do not vanish overnight, and neither do the coping behaviors developed over decades in an attempt to manage such deep wounding.  I had already noticed that a few of my stress-induced habits had reemerged during my flight south.  At least now I could do a spot check of my behavior and self-correct."

(All That Is Bitter & Sweet - Ashley Judd)

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