Saturday, May 5, 2012

body appreciation day!


I haven't always been your biggest fan.  I haven't always been on your side.  For most of my life I've been at war with you.  I've taken all my pain & hurt out on you.  I've taken you for granted.  I've self-harmed, starved, over-worked, and hated you.  I've nearly killed you.  But you never gave up on me.  You kept breathing when my heart wanted to stop.  You were able to hold on when my body rapidly started shutting down a few years ago (one of the scariest times in my life) and you somehow kept me alive despite how weak you were.  You have been through so much more suffering than you ever deserved.  And for that, I am sorry.  From the bottom of my heart, so very sorry.  And I promise to love you, to nourish you, and to nurture you from this day forward.  I promise to do the best that I can to take care of you and treat you the way that you deserve to be treated.

And even though I still struggle with my body image at times... I promise to keep striving to strengthen that.  And I know that if I do, I will finally be able to make peace with you and love you for how you are.  Because you are mine.  You are unique to me and I am learning to love and embrace that.  I am grateful for all of the things I can do because of you.  I can run, laugh, dance, sing.  I can do the simple every day tasks (that seemed so draining during my illness) and I can even do the more challenging things like rock climbing and other physical activities.  The way you have been able to heal & bounce back from all of the years of abuse that I put you though is truly amazing to me.  You are amazing to me.  I am so grateful to you for hanging on & fighting - even those times when you barely could - until I was strong enough to join you in that fight.  I have an energy that I never knew was possible, and my mental clarity is truly amazing.  And most importantly, I can breath, and I can live.  Because you fought for me.  And now it's my turn to fight for you. 

So, today, I make a vow to you, my body, that I will do my best to never take you for granted.  That I will love you and take care of you the way that you did when I wasn't able to.  I promise to stop fighting against you and to start fighting with you, and for you.  I promise to love you, to nourish you, and to nurture you.

3 comments:

  1. wow, this is an amazing post. your words are strong! I am sure that I will be thinking of this post again more than once the next few days cause what you wrote is powerful. thank you! love xo

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  2. this is absolutely beautiful!

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  3. "Because you fought for me" is such a powerful statement and is so true for me. All the years I tortured my body and it kept fighting to keep me alive. I hear such gratitude in your post. Thank you for reminding me to respect my body as something that has always protected me. What a gift it is.

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