I can't believe that I...
am an intuitive eater.
This is a really big deal for me because I honestly never thought that I would get to the point in my recovery where I could eat intuitively. My hunger and fullness cues were completely screwed up, eating mindfully terrified me, listening to my body terrified me, and eating when I was hungry and stopping when I was full... well, these were ALL things that that I couldn't comprehend. I had ignored and shut off these things for so long, and the fear that I had built up inside of me was so strong that it was really hard for me to believe that I could actually trust my body, listen to my hunger and fullness cues, and eat mindfully.
It took a lot of hard work. A lot of trust in my treatment team. A lot of trust in myself. A lot of patience. And a lot of forward steps and backwards steps but... I can finally say that I am an intuitive eater. Of course, I still have my bad days, I still have the days where I struggle and let my emotions affect my eating... but most days, I eat intuitively. And it is one of the most freeing feelings. It makes eating enjoyable again now that I am not letting the eating disorder dictate my meal plan for the day, and I am not so fearful of food. It really is quite an amazing thing to me. And if I can do it, than anyone can do it because I honestly thought that I was a hopeless mess when it came to intuitive eating.