Saturday, June 16, 2012

BEGINNING



This is how I feel about my life in recovery.
I feel like I got a new start.
I feel like I have my life back.
I am grateful that I fought hard enough for myself to get to this place.
I am grateful that I never gave up - even though my body nearly did.

And even though, things are still hard sometimes.
And even though, I still struggle with the ed sometimes.
I feel a peace & happiness inside of me - that I never want to lose.
And my wish for all of you, is to find your peace & happiness too.

It's worth it!

4 comments:

  1. In the UK, L'Oreal's slogan is "because I'm worth it": I've always thought that it would also be a good slogan for recovery. We have to believe we're worth it. And then we know that recovery (and all the work that goes into it) is worth it too.
    Thanks again for your posts :-)

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  2. I am always glad to read your posts :) Your journey is incredibly inspiring and you are an amazing, strong and courageous person. I really appreciate all of your honesty and openness. Your blog is truly a source of hope and strength.

    Thank you.

    *hugs*
    Nicole

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  3. So happy for you! I know that you have probably disclosed this at some point in your blog, but are you far along in your recovery? I know that I have a ways to go, but I feel like I am in a good "recovery mindset". However, I have lately caught myself feeling very down about my life in general. I feel like I don't want to be the average person who just wakes up, goes to work, comes home to kids, then dies. I want to be able to have an impact and be something. But, being something requires having talent, which I feel I lack completely. I'm sorry for this random vent, but I do really appreciate this post! It is a light hearted reminder to be happy with who I am and learn to develop myself and not worry about being insufficient :-).

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    Replies
    1. I understand what you mean about not wanting to be the average person... I feel that way too. Like I want to DO something and BE something with my life. But I know that things that are meant to be will come our way if we keep ourselves open to them.

      I have struggled with my eating disorder since I was 13. I did have treatment off and on but really fought it and wouldn't really cooperate because I didn't want to get better. But then in January of 2007, when I was 26, I was forced into inpatient and that's when I REALLY started my recovery and I WANTED to get better. But even after that, I had a few severe relapses and struggled quite a bit. And even though, I was in treatment for the next few years... I couldn't quite get my footing in recovery... until about a year and a half ago. This past year and a half I have been in pretty solid recovery. I still do have my bad days, and I still struggle, but for the most part, I am behavior free, I haven't been in treatment for a little over a year, and I am living a life without my eating disorder. And I know that as long as I keep doing what I am doing - my recovery will continue to grow & strengthen.

      And I know it will for you too! I thought I would never get better. A lot of people in my life thought I would never getter better. But it IS possible! =)

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