Laughing is one of my favorite things to do! I love to be silly and laugh. A day when I laugh and smile, is a day that happens SO much more often since I have been in stable recovery and have been able to let go of my eating disorder. My ed held me down and tried to suffocate me to the point where it became nearly impossible for me to laugh. To feel happy. To feel alive. It's one of the things that the ed takes away from us. But then when we find that part of us again... and we let that part SHINE... it's such a wonderful feeling! I will never take laughing for granted. If I ever get a tattoo... I want to get one that says "I live to love and laugh often." It's one of my favorite quotes, and it's something that I feel represents me and my life in recovery.
I am a very sensitive person. I always have been. I wish I wasn't... but I am. I cry pretty easily too. I wish I didn't... but I do. I am an emotional person. And that part of me used to scare me and made me feel out of control. So, I would try to numb my feelings. I didn't want to feel because ever since I was young - I felt like I "felt" too much. As a kid, I was very emotional and sensitive. During my eating disorder, I went back and forth between being very emotional to numbing and disconnecting from my emotions. Now in recovery, I am learning to balance it out. I am still sensitive. Emotional. And I do cry pretty easily (especially if I am stressed, sad, overwhelmed, hurt... even when I am happy or excited sometimes) But I am learning to manage these feelings a lot better. To understand them and keep them in balance. I am a work in progress, but I am getting there. But if you put on a sad, emotional, or heartfelt movie or tv show... or even certain songs... there will be tears coming from my direction.