When I first developed my eating disorder... I was desperate for a sense of control in my life. And at first, I did feel a sense of power and of control. It became addicting, intoxicating. I felt like nothing could hurt me, nothing could touch me, that I would be safe with this protection around me.
But of course I was wrong... because the eating disorder quickly took that power and used it to hurt me, to make me unsafe, and to slowly break me down bit by bit. But by this time, I was so entrapped in it that I couldn't break free.
Then it came to the day when I admitted that I was powerless over my eating disorder and that I needed help... and as soon as I admitted that, I started to slowly regain the power the eating disorder took from me. But this time, I started using that power inside of me in a healthy way. And through recovery, I have found that I am stronger and more powerful than my eating disorder. I fought, I cried, I struggled... but I finally beat it! And I found a healthy power inside of me that I will never let my eating disorder (or anyone or anything) take away from me.
And now, I hope to use that power to be a voice for others. To help others find the freedom that I have. I want to help others see that they too, have a healthy power inside of them to not only beat their eating disorders - but to also live their dreams, find happiness, & be free from whatever is holding them down.